


fashion crisis hits new york

by haipollai, lanyon



Series: we learned to watch each other die [2]
Category: Captain America (2011), The Avengers (2012)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-11
Updated: 2012-04-11
Packaged: 2017-11-03 12:00:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/381125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haipollai/pseuds/haipollai, https://archiveofourown.org/users/lanyon/pseuds/lanyon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It is decreed that Steve needs a new wardrobe if he's to fit the ideal of the twenty-first century man. Pepper is resigned and Bucky is enthusiastic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	fashion crisis hits new york

“You’re a goddamned hipster,” Tony says, gesturing at Bucky’s scarf and thick-rimmed glasses that he doesn’t actually need because, apparently being a biologically-enhanced Russian assassin comes with twenty-twenty vision and no sense of goddamned style. “Back me up here, Cap, seriously!”

 

Steve’s not really sure he’s in any position to judge. Darcy says that fashions change but style remains and Steve just nods, a little helplessly. 

 

“You can’t say that to a pair of cryogenically and/or Arctic-frozen military men,” says Tony, scowling at Darcy. "They are disturbingly literal."

 

“If I'm so - _style deficient_ \- why is Ms Potts bringing me with Steve on this shopping trip?” asks Bucky and Tony howls, pointing a finger at him.

 

“If the words ‘you’ve probably never heard of it’ leave your lips even once, you’re so grounded. I don’t give a fuck if you’re the world’s sexiest centenarian.”  
  
“As voted by Old Age magazine,” says Bucky and Steve doesn’t think he’s imagining the smug tone in Bucky’s voice.

 

“Yeah, and half their readership is on the cataract surgery waiting list.”

 

Pepper arrives, in a flurry of clicking heels and authority. “Whatever you’re about to say, Tony, _don’t_.” She looks at Steve and there’s definitely a rather sympathetic expression on her face. Steve doesn’t think his clothes are that bad but he’s been assured that they’re too old-fashioned and he needs to be accepted as a twenty-first century superhero. He hates that image is even remotely important but Bucky’s bouncing on the balls of his feet because he loves any kind of outing and Steve can never say no to Bucky, especially while he’s still on what can only be described as probation. 

 

“Come on, then,” he says and Bucky claps him on the shoulder.

 

“C’mon, buddy. It’s not the firing squad. Ms Potts has the whole place shut down, just for you.”

 

“Ugh. I can’t believe you’re buying off the rack,” says Tony.

 

“You’re wearing a Black Sabbath t-shirt,” says Pepper and she’s already walking away, Steve and Bucky following behind like obedient puppies. “You have no room to talk, Tony Stark!” 

 

Happy drives them to Macy’s and Steve’s sitting right behind him and he could swear that the man is laughing on the inside although there’s no outward evidence to support this supposition. Pepper ushers Bucky and Steve inside, telling Happy to come back in a few hours and Steve can’t believe that this is really going to take all that long. He just needs a few clothes, that’s all. Some jeans and t-shirts and the like. Frankly, he doesn’t really think he needs to be here at all. Surely someone could just take his measurements and send him on his way. There’s an army of sales attendants and he sort of wishes he had his shield with him, just to hide behind it. 

 

Bucky is gleeful. He’s fascinated by the twenty-first century and demands that they get coffees from Starbucks before they go any further.

 

“I work better when I’m caffeinated,” he announces. 

 

“You understand that you’re here as moral support for Captain Rogers, don’t you?” asks Pepper. She is calm and sipping her frappucino and Steve twists his hands together. Give him Frost Giants or mad scientists; anything is better than what awaits, surely. 

 

“I’m supporting him,” says Bucky, though his protest is a weak one at best. Steve thinks maybe he’s tripping up on the word ‘moral’.

 

“This isn’t an excuse for you to get frisky in the changing room,” says Pepper. 

 

Bucky’s eyes are wide and innocent and he is fooling precisely no one.

 

Steve trails along behind them, sipping disconsolately at his coffee. Bucky’s gathering up armfuls of jeans and before Steve knows it, he’s being hustled into pair after pair of trousers. 

 

“Even though this goes against everything I stand for,” says Bucky, zipping up Steve’s fly. “I’m gonna hafta say that you’re looking good, Cap.”

  
Bucky only calls him Cap when they’re in public and, even then, only rarely. Steve steps out and Pepper nods approvingly. Because Bucky has made only passing acquaintance with the concept of self restraint, he stands behind Steve and puts his hands on Steve’s hips and peers at them both in the mirror. 

 

“You know, I think I can bear to be seen with you in public,” he says.

  
“I’m not wearing a shirt,” says Steve, rather weakly but he can’t look away from their reflection which is striking in its normalcy and Steve watches his own grin as he lowers his hands to cover Bucky’s. “Maybe I don’t want to be seen in public with you.”  
  
Bucky’s jaw drops and it’s clear he’s trying to act offended but it’s hard when he’s drawing his tongue over the curve of Steve’s shoulder, biting down lightly. “Tough,” says Bucky, so quietly that Steve knows that no one else can hear. “You’re mine.”

 

Steve glances over at Pepper who’s got this resigned expression on her face that Steve usually associates with Tony. She gestures at the sales assistant. 

 

“Your phone, please.” Pepper presses a few buttons on the sales assistant’s phone. “As agreed with your superiors, there’s to be no photography.” She hands the phone back and then look at Steve and Bucky. She tilts her head to the side and clasps her hands together. “The point of this exercise, gentlemen, is to present a modern, socially acceptable image of Captain America, taking his first steps into this slightly used but generally new century. Unfortunately, we live in an extremely backward society and I don’t believe that our great nation is quite ready for the YouTube footage of Captain America and the Winter Soldier in a changing room in Macy’s.” She gestures. “Now, try on those suits. There’s a charity gala on Friday and you need to look presentable.”

 

Bucky sulks and wraps his arms around Steve’s middle for a moment before he steps away. “After you.” 

 

They get through the rest of the fashion parade with relative efficiency, although Bucky insists on stealing kisses when the curtains are drawn. 

 

“You look hot, Steve,” he mumbles, winding his arms around Steve’s neck. 

 

“You’re biased,” says Steve, because it’s true and because he’s a little jealous that Bucky’s adapted so well to this time and place. The paparazzi love the Winter Soldier and he delights in baiting them. It’s all relatively good-natured which is just as well. Most of the photographers who hang about outside the Avenger Mansion seem to have forgotten that Bucky could crush their skulls with one hand. Steve, by contrast, is the curiosity and the museum piece. _A Man Out Of Time_ , the articles say. They're not wrong and yet Bucky is equally displaced and not a word is said. 

 

Eventually, Pepper declares herself satisfied and Steve about has a heart attack when he sees how much money is being spent. 

 

“I swear that the war effort cost less than that.”  
  
“Please,” says Bucky. “Keeping you fed during the War cost plenty.”

 

Steve knows that Bucky’s keeping him distracted from the guilt at spending so much money on clothes that he doesn’t really need but they exchange war stories all the way home and when Clint passes them in the hallway, he rolls his eyes. 

 

“Guys, your geriatric is showing. C’mon. Darts tournament in twenty.”

 

“Only if you wear a blindfold,” says Bucky, baring his teeth in a frightening grin.

 

“Only if you have your arm tied behind your back,” says Clint. "You wanna keep score, Cap?

 

“I gotta unpack this stuff,” says Steve, troubled again.  
  
Clint sketches him a salute. “‘s cool. Bruce wants to referee anyway and at least he’s not going to be biased.”  
  
Steve doesn’t even think to be insulted at this slight on his sense of fair play. 

 

In the end, though, he guess it’s worth it when he shows up at Pepper’s charity dinner, wearing a three-piece suit. Bucky’s similarly attired but he wears all clothes with a disconcerting ease and comfort. Steve feels uncomfortable and is sure that he looks faintly ridiculous while Bucky just smiles easily and lifts his hand in greeting when he sees Clint across the room. Again, Steve wishes he had his shield but Pepper informs him that he looks wonderful and that he needs to stop hiding behind her. He curls his fingers around the bottom of Bucky’s jacket sleeve and barely registers the smash as Tony drops his glass. 

 

“Welcome to the twenty-first century, jerk,” whispers Bucky. “Where fashions are inexplicable and we fucking remain.”  


**Author's Note:**

> +Title from the Frank and Walters song of the same name.


End file.
